After 5 years, 4 successful albums, 2 sold-out world tours, and countless endorsements, LUX, the most successful duo in the history of Korean-Chinese pop music, is rumored to finally have been given a well-deserved full-year break. According to some sources, Luhan and Xiumin are set to go abroad for a break.
That’s what the news says, but in truth, the two are just gearing up for their individual activities. SM wouldn’t dare rest their biggest sources of income. So no, he and Luhan aren’t resting, they’re still in practice rooms and recording studios instead of beaches and villas.
Minseok wants to laugh. Because all the comments say that they’ll miss the duo, and that a year without them would be too sad. He holds back the urge to reply and say that a full year of rest only could exists in his and their fans’ dreams.
He sighs deeply, it would’ve been at least bearable if he had Luhan by his side, cracking jokes every time they reach their breaking point, too tired and exhausted to even function. But this time, his best friend’s in Beijing and he’s in Seoul. They’re both preparing for their solo debuts and are still busy as ever. He sulks, realizing that at least Luhan has Yixing with him, their part-time choreographer and producer and full-time boyfriend to Luhan. At least his best friend has someone who’ll willingly listen to his rants and incessant whining.
He had always complained about being their third wheel, but right now he’d rather be with the annoying couple, at least he’d be entertained and taken away from his own thoughts.
Five years. It’s been five years since he’s had a full week of rest. And he’d give anything to be able to sleep for three days straight without thinking about dance steps and song lyrics. But this is the life he chose, and he still has an hour of dance practice left before the concept meeting with the creative team.
“Hyung, we’ll start again in 5!” Jongin, his choreographer, says from across the room.
Some of the dancers start returning to the middle of the room to go through the choreography they’ve practiced so far. But Minseok decides to stay put, lying down on the floor for the remaining five minutes. He isn’t physically exhausted at the moment; it’s only been an hour and a half after all. But mentally, he is. His mental toughness has been tried and tested - 3 years as a trainee and 5 years in the industry will give you that. But recently, it’s been waning, and he doesn’t know how long he’ll last. The constant pressure from the company, his fans, and even from himself, is taking toll on him. The persistent worry for his family that’s been clawing at the back of his head. It’s getting harder for him to find sleep at night, and when he finally does fall asleep, his alarm and his manager are already rousing him from the little bit of sleep he’s manage to get. He sees the worry in Junmyeon’s eyes, and he only wishes that his manager won’t beat himself up over Minseok’s personal issues.
Soon enough, five minutes pass, and he hears the shuffling of feet and the buzz of random conversations. But he doesn’t move, not yet. Then he feels a tap on his shoulder.
“Hyung?”
It’s Jongin, and he hears the hints worry in the younger’s voice. He suddenly feels a wave of guilt, because it seems like all he does now is make everyone worry about him.
“Are you okay, hyung? We can cut today’s practice short if you’re not feeling well.” the boy asks.
Minseok considers it. He’ll need all the rest anyway. The meeting will definitely last for more than 3 hours. And he’s sure that not everything will be easily agreeable; arguments left and right will tire him out. So he nods, he has to rest if he wants to make the right decisions.
“Okay, everyone listen up! We have a change of plans, today’s practice is over, but please do come an hour earlier tomorrow! Thank you for your hard work.”
He sits up and acknowledges the dancers, who all seem to be schooling similar expressions. The same one Jongin has. They’re all worried, and it makes him even guiltier and more upset. He never disappoints, even when he’s almost at his wits and strength’s end, he delivers. That’s how he knows, the people around him are seeing it. And these people are scared for him, he is too.
“Kim Minseok!”
The voice is loud enough to fill the empty practice room. He doesn’t bother looking up, because it’s obviously his manager, who, of course, has the right to barge into any room he was without prior notice. When he doesn’t respond, he hears Junmyeon turn to Jongin for answers. Junmyeon must’ve gotten the whiff of things when he saw the dancers leaving the practice room, he thinks.
He hears bits of their conversation, but he doesn’t hear enough to make out what they’re talking about. Although he’s pretty sure they’re exchanging sentiments of worry about his condition, which again he appreciates, but he deems completely unnecessary. What he’s going through right now is something he can only solve on his own. But the thing is, he doesn’t have an idea where to start.
He doesn’t notice Junmyeon approaching him until he feels a warm palm on his bare shoulder.
“Meeting starts in two hours, wanna get lunch first?”
Lunch is Junmyeon fussing over him because of his declining state. Junmyeon brings him to his favorite ramen place which is half an hour away. He listens mindlessly while Junmyeon goes off about how he should be taking care of himself better, even adding that he should start dating, so someone other than himself will be worrying about the idol. But that’s all he hears. He’s again, lost in his own thoughts. And it’s apparent that it’s all he does recently. And people have been noticing because it’s so unlike him.
Kim Minseok is a very organized person. His room is of pristine cleanliness. His refrigerator is arranged by food type and expiry date. His schedule is a constant back-and-forth exchange between him and Junmyeon, so he knows what’s going to happen weeks advance. His life was in an unquestionable order. But there are things in life that hit you unexpectedly, and to him, that’s a message from his younger sister about their father’s worsening condition. His father’s been sick even before he started training, but back then, he was already recovering.
He didn’t take the hit very well, and it’s partly why he wasn’t against his and Luhan’s solo debuts, because it will allow him to stay in the country, to take care of his father. He hasn’t told Junmyeon, even Luhan, or anyone who isn’t part of their immediate family for that matter. He’s always been a private person, and he prefers keeping his work and family in different boxes. But he knows that at some point, he’ll have to explain everything to his best friend and to his manager - both very important people who treat him like family.
His worries about his father mixed with the anxieties he has about his solo debut is the perfect recipe that is fueling his thorough mental collapse. He doesn’t usually cry, but in the span of three months, he has shed a lot more tears than he has his entire life. It’s becoming tiresome, his mental state affecting his physical well-being.
“Minseok? Are you even listening to me?”
He blinks, once, twice, thrice.
Junmyeon is looking at him weirdly, and that’s when he realizes that while Junmyeon had completely emptied his plate, he hasn’t even touched his food.
“Are you sure you’re okay?
He shakes it off, he’s okay, he should be..
“Don’t worry about me, just nervous, that’s all.” he quips, adding a bit more cheer to his tone to than usual mask the undertones of stress and fatigue.
Junmyeon doesn’t seem convinced, but he’s thankful since his manager doesn’t probe him further, “Well, let’s go then. We wouldn’t want to keep them waiting.”
The road back to the company building was unexpectedly traffic despite it not being the rush hour. He glances at the clock worriedly, and he can feel Junmyeon panicking beside him. Even the company driver seems on edge. Everyone knows how important the meeting is. He’s the artist, but he doesn’t like being waited for. Junmyeon just ended a call, and he looks a lot less worried.
“Junmyeon, how late are we?” he asks. He’s pretty sure the fact the he hasn’t eaten anything at all combined with the high stress levels he’s in have completely disoriented him. He’s so disoriented, to the point he can’t even do basic math.
“10 minutes so far, I called Junhee, she’s explained everything to the execs, producers, everyone there. It’s okay, they’re all willing to wait.”
Instead of relief, he feels a sick twist in his gut. Most of the people he’s working with for his solo album are relatively new to him. They wanted a completely different feel from his image with LUX. LUX was all elaborate and glamorous, their stage outfits are always unique and tailored for them. They wore heavy make-up too. And their music was mostly pop rock, even exploring EDM for a time. But for his solo debut, they’re giving him the flower boy image, and they’re going for acoustic tunes and pop ballads. Which, even though started out as his forte, became concepts so distant to him. And he’s not sure if he’ll pull them off. And again what irks him is that it’s only the first meeting with his new team, and he’s already disappointing them.
He feels a warm palm enveloping his fist, “I’m sorry, Minseok. Don’t worry, this one’s all on me.”
The apologetic smile on his manager’s lips makes him feel a bit better. He knows Junmyeon means well; he always does.
They arrive at company building 40 minutes late. As soon as they get past the lobby, they zoom through the halls to get to the conference room. Junmyeon is faster, so he tries his best to keep in step despite the lack of energy.
They pause to catch their breaths. One the other side of the room are the people who he will be working with for the next few months. Junmyeon tugs his hand before they go in. He gives his manager, one of his closest friends, a questioning look. But Junmyeon just pats down his collar and fixes his fringes. They exchange a smile. Junmyeon turns the knob.
“Oh, finally, Xiumin’s here!”
He bows at everyone’s general direction and apologizes, “I’m sorry, we were caught in traffic. This won’t be happening again.”
There are about a dozen people in the room. And the only two he knows are Kim Heechul, SM’s creative director who’s in charge of laying down the concept for his album, and Jung Yunho, SM’s top producer who he’s worked with before for LUX. Otherwise, everyone else is unfamiliar to him. They all acknowledge his apology, except for one person who only quirks an eyebrow.
The man seems younger than he is, but he exudes an aura that’s self-assured. He’s very handsome too, facial features soft but strong. And his eyes talk, saying what doesn’t come out of his mouth. Minseok isn’t exactly sure who the boy is or how they’ll be working with each other. But he knows he’s already made a bad impression.
He takes the empty seat across the said man, and the meeting begins.
“I would like to thank everyone for coming here today, as you all know, Xiumin and Luhan are making the solo debuts here in Korea for Xiumin and in China for Luhan,” Heechul starts.
Minseok just nods along while Heechul lays out the set-up to the team. These things, he knows. Junmyeon had briefed him the night before about how SM’s going to go about their simultaneous solo debuts. Luhan’s going to debut a month ahead of him, and he’s doing an EDM dance track. He’s heard bits of Luhan’s debut song actually, and it’s a good different. They’ve been incorporating EDM to LUX’s songs recently, and the responses have been positive so he thinks it’s a good decision.
He goes back to listening when it’s Yunho’s turn. While he’s well informed about Luhan’s debut track and the things that Heechul had explained, he has no idea about his own debut tack. All he knows is they want the lead track to be a pop ballad. That’s all. He’s recorded an R&B dance track and is practicing the choreography for it. But they still haven’t told him anything about his debut song.
“Xiumin’s debut song is an acoustic track entitled Love, Love, Love. And for this song, he will be collaborating with Park Chanyeol, who has finally accepted our offer.” Yunho nods his head towards someone across the room, and when he follows, his eyes are lead back to the nameless man from a while ago.
Park Chanyeol? Why doesn’t the name ring a bell?
“Chanyeol goes by PCY when he produces and releases tracks. He’s very known in the hip-hop scene, and he’ll be the one doing the rapping for Xiumin’s debut track.”
Again he stops listening when Yunho moves to a different topic, when he thinks about it, PCY does sound familiar. He thinks Yixing likes this guy’s songs a lot, and he dances to it too.
Their gazes meet again, and he receives a cold stare from Park Chanyeol. He gets that he kind of deserves it for making them wait, all of them are busy people after all. But he doesn’t get where the hostility is coming from.
“The recording of the first demo is today as well, so we’ll meet in the studio in 5.”
The room divides into smaller conversations at that, and while he wants to sit longer to rest a bit, Minseok stands, but then there’s this pounding in his head that causes him to sit back down. He doesn’t look around, but he feels a gaze boring through his back. He doesn’t turn around to see who he it is. He somehow feels it’s Chanyeol.
He tries to stand again, although shaky, he manages to stand and follow to the recording room. When he gets there, Junmyeon is already engaged in a conversation with the head stylist, photos and magazines are laid down on the table at the waiting area.
He still feels a bit faint, but he still doesn’t ask Junmyeon for anything. He only ever asks for some medicine when he knows he’s about to pass-out, and right now, he doesn’t want other people to hear and worry about him.
Chanyeol’s already at the booth, discussing something with Yunho. He wonders what he actually did to make the other’s blood boil. He still seems guarded while talking to Yunho, but he looks a lot less snarky.
He struggles to get to the booth, having to put his weight on the wall to keep his balance. It’s not like this hasn’t happened before, it has. But never on days as important as this. This has happened during dance practices but never on performance dates.
He opens the door of the soundproof booth, and he’s met with worried eyes.
He blinks, once, twice.
///
He’s not sure how and what exactly woke him up - the heat of the sunlight filtering through the blinds or the persistent headache resonating throughout his body. He tries to blink away. He’s wide awake now, yet he still doesn’t know where he is. The pounding in his head is growing more intense by the minute. He tries to lift his arms, and that’s when he realizes where he is. On his left hand, an IV drip is securely attached.
“Oh, you’re awake,” Junmyeon puts down the papers he was reading, frown lines on his face more evident.
He remembers now. He passed out even before the demo recording started. And again he feels awful for disappointing and letting people down. He instantly regrets not taking care of himself enough. His anxiety is causing him trouble physically as well, and he seriously wants to get out of it, but he doesn’t know how.
“You should really thank Park Chanyeol,” Junmyeon says, to which he raises his eyebrows. Because as far as he remembers, all the boy has given him are cold glares.
“Huh?”
“You fainted, could’ve hit your head, but he caught you. He even carried you all the way to the car and went with us here. He just left actually,” Junmyeon says, and while his voice is calm there’s this teasing look in his eyes.
“He also asked a bit about how you are,” Junmyeon pauses, then proceeds to raise his eyebrows suggestively.
“And you said what?”
He suddenly gets the urge to wipe the smirk off of Junmyeon’s face, because really, what kind of things did he share with the boy that did nothing but glare?
“I told him not to worry, you’re just nervous about your solo, that’s all. Then he asked if you’ve been eating, because according to him, you’re light as a feather.”
He rolls his eyes at the seemingly misplaced reversal. Just hours ago, the boy was throwing dagger looks at his direction, and now he’s acting worried? What’s his deal?
“He seems nice though,” Junmyeon comments, probably noticing the distaste written all over his face.
“Nice? He basically stared me down the entire meeting. I’ve been trying to be understanding, but I don’t really get his problem with me.”
“You don’t know, do you?” Junmyeon’s face looks a bit more serious, and he wonders what his manager isn’t telling him.
“He was an SM trainee, but he left. There were rumors going around about why he left but no one’s really sure. After he got more popular in the hip-hop scene, he never accepted any offers from entertainment companies. So I’m not exactly sure if he’s actually collaborating on his own will.”
He’s heard about that SM trainee turned hip-hop artist story, but he didn’t realize it was Park Chanyeol. The rumor that he heard the most was that the boy ended up getting really sick, to the point he couldn’t move around that much without vomiting. It happens a lot, but the thing about this boy is that he was supposedly a trainee who had a sure chance of debuting. He was a favorite that just left, making him sort of an urban legend going around the trainees. He remembers this happening a few months before his debut with Luhan, which might be the reason why he can’t remember much about it.
“I think he finds it really uncomfortable working with you, with us. So just help him out okay?”
He nods and doesn’t ask further questions. But his curiosity is bursting at the seams. Park Chanyeol, the person who looked at him as if he were a criminal, is the same person who sort of saved his life. He really doesn’t understand, but he wants to.
Author's Notes: I’m honestly not sure about where this will go, but I’m pretty sure this isn’t the end! (or I wish uni life doesn’t swallow me whole so I can write more) |
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
seokmonster-mod.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
seokmonstersfest
no subject
Date: 2016-03-11 12:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-03-11 08:03 am (UTC)You cant possibly end this here right? TT
Well, i hope you continue this shot.. uni life can be very demanding though.. fighting!
no subject
Date: 2016-03-12 05:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-03-13 11:17 pm (UTC)This is so good so far!!! Thank you
no subject
Date: 2016-03-14 03:27 pm (UTC)i wonder if chanyeol had actually known minseok from trainee days? maybe that's why he's so hostile? :o
fighting!
no subject
Date: 2016-03-17 02:54 pm (UTC)I love the AU so I would be very biased.
But seriously this is great!
I love everything so far.
(am also /shed tears
at how LUX is a legit duo here)
P/S: If you're writing more, I am so in for this!
If you have the time, I am sure you can write this well.
And explore more on the emotions side.
It'll be a great story. ^^
Thank you for writing this! ♡ ♡ ♡
no subject
Date: 2016-03-19 02:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-03-24 01:01 am (UTC)The hostility that Chanyeol had towards Minseok, and then helping him...I'm really intrigued to see how this will change omg;;;
The best of luck for you author, and excited to see how this will play out! ^^
no subject
Date: 2016-04-19 01:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-08-21 08:49 am (UTC)