#129 Believe Again

[seokmonster-mod.livejournal.com]

Title: Believe Again
Pairing: Xiumin/Lay
Side pairing(s): slight!Yunho/Suho
Rating: PG-15
Word Count: 4,902 words
Warnings: Few profanities, sexual situations
Summary: It is a world where people have the names of their soulmates etched into their skin; where they are able to find their chosen Ones and love them till death do them part. Enter Kim Minseok. He has Chinese characters written against his skin and is adamant about not wanting to search for his own soulmate. He doesn't even want to know whoever whose name is on his skin. Nope. No thanks. Enter Zhang Yixing. He is hot, cute and has no one's name on his wrist. He kinda makes Minseok feel a little hot and bothered.

Author's Notes: Prompter specified that Minseok finds his soulmate after a year of living with the other’s name etched on his wrist, but that’s not the case in this fic, unfortunately! So sorry haha! I hope everyone who read this enjoys it a little. I'm not asking for too much right? Last but not least, thank you to the mods for being patient! T_T I am just so horrible at keeping track of time! Thank you so much!




Minseok loved the idea of soulmates. He loved the idea of fate tying his destiny to someone in the world from the moment he was born. That he is able to find his other half and be able to live happily ever after. Loved.

“Look at this, Minseok,” his father said, beckoning him to direct his gaze on his father and mother’s wrists.

On his father’s wrist, right beneath his palm, was the name “Lee Sarom” in Hangul, while on his mother’s wrist, there was a “Kim Seokhoon”. They looked like they had been tattooed, but Minseok’s father had told him to run his fingers over the characters. He said that the only way to tell whether it was real was through touch.

His father had laughed when Minseok asked how he knew that Minseok’s mother was his soulmate, and not any other “Lee Sarom”. That made the older Kim entangle his fingers with his wife, and Minseok’s eyes widened when he saw the characters on his parents’ wrists turn bright before they disappear.

“And that, my son, was how I knew.”

When his father let go of his mother’s palm, the names appeared once again. Bold and beautiful.

Everything came crashing down when his family fell apart. His father’s business collapsed in a time of crisis, when everyone was facing debts amounting to hundreds and thousands of dollars. Minseok and his brother were already having a hard time getting by, helping their mother out at the family restaurant after they’re done with school.

It was a little difficult for Minseok and Junmyeon at first, since they were used to being served instead of being the ones serving. However, after they found that their mother had to let go of some of the restaurant staff because she was not able to pay their wages, the boys decided to roll up their sleeves and man up.

Their father would come home with a tired smile on his face, stress evident in the deep creases on his forehead.

“My poor babies,” he would say, as he checked up on Minseok and Junmyeon’s room only to find the boys dozing off on their desks after a long day of work at their mother’s restaurant.

Minseok was happy. It was tiring but he still had his family. A few drops of tears and sweat shed is nothing, compared to the satisfaction on his mother’s face when customers leave them tips in the jar and compliment her on her delicious cooking.

And then one day, his father came up to them, insisting that his friend had decided to venture into a very lucrative business, and that he hoped Minseok’s father would like to support him by investing in it. He remembered how his mother had looked on that day, face pinched and eyebrows drawn. She did not have a good feeling about it.

Minseok’s father then decided to broach the subject of the future of their children, how they would be able to afford tuition for them, how they would be able to hire more staff in the restaurant so that the children can study more.

“Minseok’s grades are slipping, Sarom. We can’t afford to let him abandon his studies and continue helping out in the kitchens anymore. He would lose his passion for studying by the time he reaches middle school. His teacher kept complaining about Minseok sleeping in class during almost every lesson in school.”

Now that Minseok thinks about it, it was probably partly his fault as well. Unlike Junmyeon, Minseok is not the type who is keen on studying. Sure, he gets good grades, but that is only pertaining to subjects like Mathematics or Science.

Why could he not have at least try to pay attention to whatever his teacher said in class?

A few days later, he saw his mother counting cash in her bedroom, exhaling a loud sigh while her fingers nimbly separated the notes in hand. She fervently prayed that Seokhoon’s friend was one who could be trusted, and not one who would betray his friend. Seokhoon had been taking up part-time jobs around the clock every single day. Even the weekends were no longer time spent with the family. Instead, Seokhoon would start his part-time job as a technician from as early as five in the morning on a Saturday, while the kids and their mother opened up the restaurant.

Junmyeon tutored the neighbours’ kids at night, while Minseok tried to catch up with his studies by going over to Eunyoung’s every once in a while.

Sarom pitied her kids and husband. They deserve so much more.

Not long after she had finished collating the money, her husband entered the room, smiling when he saw her inserting the notes into an envelope. He sat beside her on the bed, entwining their fingers together as they kissed each other lightly.

Sarom smiled as she saw, from the corner of an eye, the characters on their wrists shining brightly, before disappearing from sight.


♡


His father’s friend never got back to them. The last Minseok had heard of him was through the anchorwoman on the television screen. The news had reported the disappearance of Bang Heeyeol, who had fled to America with thousands of won he had scammed from a number of people he had managed to gain his trust from over the years. Minseok had shuddered in fear when he saw how badly his father’s hands were shaking.

Minseok’s mother had just seen the news, recognizing Bang Heeyeol as the man she had met up together with her husband just a few months ago.

A few minutes later, she went flying across the tiny living room to slam her fists against her husband’s chest repeatedly.

“I told you! I told you not to trust him so easily but look! Look at what’s happening? How are we ever going to get our money back? How, Seokhoon? How?” Sarom cried, the energy slowly seeping out of her as she slumped against her husband’s chest.

For the first time in his life, Minseok witnessed his father standing helplessly, hands hanging uselessly by his side. He wanted to tell his father that he should hug his mother. He had wanted his mother to be comforted, at least for a few seconds. Anything is better than hearing her quiet sobs. Seeing her frail shoulders shaking pitifully. She had had a very tiring day and the last thing Minseok wanted was to have his mother collapse to the floor out of exhaustion and sheer shock.

But Minseok remembered being reprimanded for “meddling” in the adults’ affairs. He kept quiet and with a heavy heart, dragged his feet into his own bedroom.

A few days later, Minseok found his father in his bedroom, hanging from a rope tied to the ceiling fan.

A few months later, his mother’s health deteriorated, due to heartache and overworking. She succumbed to her illness soon after.


♡


Junmyeon and Minseok solemnly accepted everyone’s condolences, in a state of confusion and grief as they stared down at the ground.

Their mother’s wrist had had a different name etched on it; Francois Bernard. She had shrieked like a banshee when the name first appeared on her skin, scratching at it till her skin turned red and bloody. Her sons had to calm her down, winding a bandage around her wrist after applying some ointment onto her wound.

Stubbornly, she kept wearing the bandage till the day she breathed her last. It was a betrayal to her husband, she thought, to have another man’s name on her skin.

Minseok had excused himself out of his mother’s ward after the nurse pronounced her dead, leaning against the wall opposite in shock. He slipped down to the floor, holding his head in his hands as he tried to grasp the fact that his mother was now gone.

There was the clacking of shoes before him, rhythmic and fast, before it halted to a stop when those shoes stopped right after they went past Minseok.

He looked up to find a doctor frozen in his tracks, staring down at his wrist in bewilderment. The nurse beside him stopped beside him as well, asking him whether there was anything wrong and if there was anything she could do to help. The Caucasian doctor gave her a strained smile in reply before striding forward.

At the reception desk nearby, a clerk looked on worriedly, nibbling on her pen. She had been alternating her glances between Minseok and the doctor for quite some time now. The nurse who had been chatting with her asked whether she knew of anything troubling the doctor.

“Really though, I’ve never seen Doctor Bernard look so distraught before this,” the clerk confessed, before she continued typing on her computer.

“Soojin, didn’t you see him staring at his wrist…? You know what that means,” the nurse replied, sighing sadly as she caressed her own wrist.

Minseok balefully glanced at his own wrists. There were only the faint outlines of his veins decorating his skin. That would soon change when he turns eighteen.

That is only five years away.

Soulmates? Why is someone up there trying to decide things for him when they can even guarantee that he will be happy with his chosen one in the future?

Why is it that having a soulmate planned for you seemed more like a curse than a blessing?

Minseok would rather choose his own future partner than have someone decide on one for him. He had seen how his parents had ended up. Soulmates? Soulmates don’t destroy each other.


♡


On his eighteenth birthday, Minseok and Junmyeon camped out in the backyard.

Their aunt had taken them in shortly after their mother’s death, and raised them in a nice small cottage in Busan.

The boys were staring up into the starry sky, lying on a mat they had dug out from the storeroom. The stars illuminated their surroundings, drenching them both in their dim brightness.

“It’s going to be midnight soon, hyung… Any last words?” Junmyeon asked cheekily, poking at his older brother’s arm.

“Brat. You make it sound like I’m gonna die soon or something.”

Minseok was nervous. He had been trying to convince himself that no matter whose name he saw on his wrist, he was just going to ignore it. It was very frustrating for him, to know that he would have this person’s name etched in his mind. That he would go on with life wondering whether every person who has the same name as his supposed soulmate really is his soulmate.

“But hyung, what if it’s Jung Yunho?”

Minseok could not help but to let out a bark of laughter, before it dissolved into silent giggles. That was the most ludicrous thing he had ever heard. And he made sure to tell Junmyeon that.

The younger boy gave a tiny smile, relieved to see the tension in Minseok’s shoulders seeping away.

Junmyeon looked at his watch.

“Ten more seconds.”

Closing his eyes, Minseok began to mutter under his breath.

“Ten.

Nine.

Eight.

Seven.

Six.”

Heat rushed to Minseok’s left wrist; he could literally feel sleek strokes forming against his skin.

“F-Five.

Four.

Three.

Two.

One.”

Minseok opened his eyes, holding his wrist up to the sky while Junmyeon looked up at it in awe.

“They’re very pretty characters, hyung.”

His older brother worriedly chewed his bottom lip.

“I don’t think I should even see the name I have on my wrist. No matter how hard I try, I don’t think I will ever be able to look at anyone the same way ever again,” Minseok cried out in panic, covering his wrist with his right hand.

“W-Wait, hyung,” Junmyeon started, gripping the other’s wrist firmly and unclasping his right hand.

“I… Don’t think that will be a problem,” he continued, bringing his brother’s wrist nearer to the latter’s face for inspection.

Eyebrows scrunched, Minseok jerked away in reflex. Before he realized something.

“Ah. The name. The name is in Chinese! Ah… Ah! This makes everything way easier!” He yelled, throwing his hands up in the air.

“Fan-fucking-tastic!”

“I can’t even tell if you’re relieved or upset, hyung,” Junmyeon murmured, to which his brother simply shrugged.

Minseok was shaking in shock, still in disbelief over the fact that something magical had happened to him.

After they had packed up and gotten inside the house, Minseok strode into his bedroom to retrieve a thick white wristband. He thought he saw bandages in his hands instead of the innocent wristband but a blink of his eyes willed that image away.

This was going to be much easier than he had first thought it would be. So so much easier, he thought, as he slipped the wristband onto his left wrist.


♡


Five years on and Minseok still cannot believe that he is now working for SM Entertainment, one of the hottest talent agencies in South Korea.

Three years ago, the company had signed him on as a composer-slash-lyricist for their singers after listening to his demo tracks. A brief interview and he’s working full-time for SM before you can say “Lee Sooman”.

Goosebumps run up his spine as he stepped into the building, not only brought about by the chill of the air conditioner, but also by Jung Yunho’s brilliant smile as he rushes past Minseok to get into the car waiting for him.

Minseok takes out his phone in a flash, quickly typing out a text while making his way up the stairs.

To: Yunho hyung

Fighting for your solo debut, Yunho hyung! ^_^
I hope your fans enjoy the song! (*•̀ᴗ•́*)و ̑

Two steps at a time, he leaps up the stairs, slowing down when he feels his phone buzzing in his hand not long after.

From: Yunho hyung

Thank you, Minseok-ya! ೕ(•̀ㅂ•́ )
And don’t worry about the fans. They’ll love the song. You wrote it, remember? ;)
Company’s gonna release the song in a while, at noon! Just watch it climb the charts like your previous songs did!

Minseok halts his footsteps, at the same time reaching the second floor. Why is Yunho so cute?

He vigorously fans himself, almost punching himself in the eye when someone rounds the corner; about to walk down the stairs. Strong hands grip his biceps when Minseok almost tumbles backwards. Instead, he is pulled in the opposite direction, finding himself falling on top of a wiry yet muscular body.

Groaning, he squirms in the stranger’s embrace. He is flushed from head to toe, and he also feel the onset of sweat gathering in his pits when he feels the other man’s bulge prodding his thigh. Okay, he has to move right now!

Minseok jumps up to his feet in embarrassment, an apology ready on his lips.

Unfortunately, he chokes up before he could get what he had wanted to say past his throat, wheezing at the sight of kind eyes and cute smile and ultra-cute dimples. Wow.

And so, instead of an apology, Minseok settled for a squeaky “Sorry” and a little salute, before rushing down the corridor and into one of the vacant rooms which might be where Jaewon was waiting for him at. He was fanning himself as he enters the studio, sighing when he meets Jaewon’s eyes looking at him inquisitively.

“Ugh, hello hyung. Just got into a little accident nearby. Made a fool out of myself,” Minseok complains, settling down into his favourite chair.

Jaewon chuckles, shaking his head before asking, “What’s new?”, and earning a small punch to his right arm in reply.


♡


Minseok doesn’t see Lay again until a few days later, when he’s conducting a complimentary dance class together with Jaewon. Shimmying his hips, his back to the students, Minseok beckons them to do the same. He walks around the room to help some of the kids who are a little unsure about how they should move. Most of those who are stiffly shaking their hips are guys, much to his dismay. But then he remembers that he had been like them once.

“Listen up, everyone! Especially guys! Don’t be afraid to move! Shake your hips, sway them if it’s too hard to shimmy them fast. There is no need to feel ashamed about whichever parts of you are jiggling about. Be confident!” Minseok urges, eyes looking pointedly at a wide-eyed boy who is blushing crimson.

The boy had been staring at Minseok’s wristband for too long, which is why Minseok decided to keep his eye on him for a little while.

Jaewon, who had been sitting at a corner supervising the lesson, decides to help Minseok by going up to a few participants and encouraging them to “release their inhibitions”. The younger dance instructor laughs when he happened to overhear what Jaewon was saying to a student.

“What? It’s true. You’re gonna have to release your inhibitions if you want to go out there and perform in front of everyone on a huge stage!” Jaewon says, patting the student he was helping on the shoulder.

“You need to have no shame. Like Minseok over here,” he continues, gesturing to said male.

“Hey!”

Jaewon ducks Minseok's punch, cackling as he scuttles over to another student’s side.

As per usual, Minseok ends the class with a flourish, giving out some tips to some students who are keener to take on dance as a profession. Another person enters as soon as the last boy leaves together with Jaewon.

It’s Lay.

Minseok feels a little flustered, knowing that he is somehow attracted to the other guy.

"Oh! Hello again!" The man greets him.

Minseok greets him back, bowing slightly to the other.

"Hi! I am Minseok! Jaewon told me that you're SM's new choreographer! Lay, am I right?" He asks, smiling slightly.

Lay stumbles in his steps, nodding his head vigorously before bowing once again before Minseok. This time, he grabs the shorter man's hand in his, shaking it firmly.

"K-Kim Minseok? The Kim Minseok - H-Hyung? I've heard so much about you!"

Minseok can't help but to preen at Lay's words. It’s not every day that he has people fawning over him, considering that he’s only been for the company for a few years.

His right seems to tingle, even after Lay lets go of it.

“My name is Yixing, actually,” the latter continues, scratching his head bashfully.

“Yixing…” Minseok tests the name out, trying to get the pronunciation as accurate as possible.

“Yes! That’s it! Most of the people here find it difficult to pronounce my name, which is why I usually tell them to call me Lay.”

The shorter man lets out a little laugh, to which Yixing responded with a cute smile, revealing his killer dimple. Minseok wants to drown in it. He wants to be tiny and hop into Yixing’s sweet little dimple.

He waves the weird thought away when Yixing walks away to place his gym bag on a table.

“Do you want to watch me dance, hyung?” The younger man asks when Minseok thinks he’s not needed anymore.

Minseok stops in his tracks, biting his lower lip. Well, they’re going to work together in the future probably… So why not take this chance to study Yixing’s style of dancing, right?


♡


“Oh. Oh, Yixing. You’re wonderful,” Minseok breathes out, as Yixing chugs down a bottle of water.

This seems to have caught the latter off-guard however, because the latter chokes and spurts water out his mouth and nose.

“Ah! Hey! Yixing, are you alright? Shit, hand me your towel.”

Yixing holds his hand out, assuring Minseok that he is fine. His eyes are closed and water is still all over his face, but at least he looks a little calm.

“Hyung, you should warn me the next time you want to compliment me,” Yixing says, pouting a little towards Minseok.

The older man sputters, “Well, how was I supposed to know that you’d be this happy after getting a compliment from me?”

Yixing mumbles something Minseok couldn’t hear.

“What did you just say?” He asks Yixing.

“I said that it’s because you’re cute. I mean, Jaewon’s great at dancing as well but you. Minseok-hyung, you are really too damned cute.”

There are a lot of things Minseok can say in this situation. He can even laugh it off as a joke if he wants to, or compliment Yixing as well. But…

“Uh, t-thank you?” Minseok replies uncertainly, blinking his eyes owlishly.

The younger man lets out an exasperated sigh.

“See what I mean? Just too damned cute!”

In the end, Minseok cups his reddened cheeks, before excusing himself out of the studio. He ignores Yixing’s shouts, as he runs along the corridor. It is fortunate for him that he is a pretty fast runner, because he loses sight of Yixing after a while. His heart is beating rapidly, adrenaline pumping through his veins, but his smile is wide as he remembers Yixing calling him cute.

Is this it? Is he finally going to get to choose who he wants to stay with for the rest of his life? Because to be honest, none of the people he had dated in the past has ever made him feel this way. So conflicted, yet so attracted.

He pulls down his wristband, brushing his thumb over the characters on his wrist.

“Not in this lifetime, I guess.”

And then he realizes that Yixing’s wrists are bare.

Minseok’s smile grows wider.

But then he frowns.


♡


“Hey! Hey Yixing! I am so sorry I left you alone the other day,” Minseok apologizes profusely to Yixing the next day.

“It’s alright, Minseok. I would have freaked out if I were you. Except that I’m not, in which case…” Yixing drifts off, realizing that he had digressed a little.

“I mean, I should have known better… You already have a soulmate, don’t you?” He asks the other, gesturing to his wrist.

“Uh… No… I just… it’s hard to explain but I don’t really believe in the idea of entrusting my fate to anyone up above. I just don’t- Anyway, what about you?”

Yixing holds up his wrists.

“Late bloomer. There’s nothing.”

“My brother doesn’t have anyone’s name on his wrist either,” Minseok confesses, but his words seem to have gone unheard.

“I’ve gone around trying to find out why and-”

“Minseok!” A voice cuts in, as a tall figure jogs towards Yixing and Minseok’s direction.

Both of the younger men straighten up, bowing as they greet Yunho.

“What have you both been up to, huh? Minseok, you said you were going to review the song I’d just mixed in the studio the day before. Have you done it yet?” Yunho whines unbecomingly, making Minseok and Yixing laugh at how childish he seems.

“Not yet hyung! Be patient! I know it’s for your fans, and I know how important it is that they get a beautiful song for you, but I’d been busy ever since Sajangnim pulled me in to work on Changmin-hyung’s album,” Minseok tries to reason with the older man.

“Oh, alright,” Yunho replies, lengthening the “alright” in a puerile manner.

“Anyway, what were you guys talking about anyway?”

Minseok laughs nervously, trying to brush off Yunho’s curiosity. However, the latter is persistent.

“We were talking about soulmates, hyung,” Yixing replies after a while.

“Oh. Soulmates huh? Soulmates do exist… But why does an intangible entity get to decide the person that I’m going to love?” Yunho suddenly blurts out, gripping left wrist.

He is wearing a watch on his left wrist, and Minseok can see a little bit of Hangul from beneath the strap. Yunho clasps his hands together at his back.

“So yeah, that’s how I feel about soulmates,” Yunho declares sheepishly.

For a few seconds, everything is quiet. Minseok feels himself being jerked forward into Yixing’s arms, the latter holding onto his hand.

A swift move has Minseok’s wristband off and clenched in Yixing’s fist.

The characters on Minseok’s wrist, 張藝興, shine before they fade into nothingness, and it takes him a few seconds to register what had happened. Even Yunho looks a little dumbstrucked, and it’s Yunho. Yunho rarely ever look like that.

Yixing’s eyes widen to the size of saucers. He had only wanted to see whose name Minseok had been wearing on the soft underside of his wrist, to convince himself that he should not break his own heart and continue searching for his own soulmate.

He had not expected to find his soulmate before his soulmate's name appears on his wrist.

He lets go of Minseok as quickly as when he had pulled the latter into his arms before. After only a second of no contact, Minseok’s name appears on Yixing’s wrist.

That is when Minseok asks him mulishly, “So can we date now?”

Yixing looks up at him, wide-eyed.


♡


“B-But, you said-“

“Fuck what I said-”

Yunho chokes a little at the profanity used by the baby-faced man before him, to which he was silenced with a glare.

“You’re the first person I’ve ever felt this much attraction for, really. So it would be pretty stupid of me to not want to go out with you just because we have each other’s names on our wrists. Uh, let’s just try this soulmate thing out for a while?” Minseok squeaks out, a little embarrassed and relieved at the same time.

Embarrassed because he had vehemently given his opinion about soulmates not too long ago, and now he is warming up a little too quickly to the idea after finding out that Yixing is his. Relieved because he had been attracted to Yixing even before knowing that he is his soulmate.

“Well, that’s great then,” Yixing replies softly, pulling Minseok into his arms.

He kisses Minseok on the lips, lightly, before moving on to feather little pecks around the vicinity of the older man’s mouth. Minseok can’t help but to burst out in laughter at how ridiculously adorable and hot the kisses are.

Someone clears his throat.

“Hello? I’m still here?” Yunho asks, but gets no reply at all as Yixing decides to employ the use of his tongue and that is when he realizes that he needs to go before both guys start having sex in front of him.

Minseok detaches his mouth from Yixing’s when Yunho starts walking away.

“Hey, hyung! I’m sorry! Wait up!”

Yunho waves him off.

“You kids continue doing… Whatever you gotta do.”

Yixing chuckles against Minseok’s neck, before mumbling about how it’s too soon for them to have sex when they’ve not even gone for their first date.

All of a sudden, Minseok feels his cellphone buzzing loudly. Junmyeon had just sent him a text message.

“Oh. Yixing. My brother’s coming over. I don’t know why but-”

Junmyeon is here. He looks disheveled, his tie loosened and his glasses a tiny bit skewed. His little form is standing before Yunho, trembling nervously for reasons unknown. Minseok guesses that his brother is simply acting that way because he has admired Jung Yunho for so long.

Minseok pulls away from Yixing, making the latter pout in an adorable yet dopey manner.

“You can kiss me after you’ve taken me out for dinner later, Yixing,” Minseok whispers jokingly, loving how laughter is reflected in the other’s beautiful eyes.

He waits for Junmyeon to finish talking to Yunho, eyebrows scrunching as his brother continues to fidget in front of Yunho.

“Hey Minseok. You told me that your brother is a late bloomer like me right?” Yixing asks, playing with his soulmate’s wrist.

“Yes, I did. Why?”

“I think your name appeared on my wrist not because we met. If that’s the case, I’d have had your name written upon my skin weeks ago.”

“You think?” Minseok asks him back.

Yixing takes hold of Minseok’s shoulders to turn the shorter man such that they’re facing each other.

He then replies wryly, “Yes. I think. And I also think that your name appeared because you finally believe.”

“Believe?”

“Yes. Believe. Like Yunho-hyung right now.”

“Like- Wait what do you mean-”

Minseok turns around to see Junmyeon with his legs wrapped around Yunho’s waist. His face becomes as white as sheet.

“J-Junmyeon and Yunho? H-How? Why? My baby brother! Yixing!”

Yixing holds onto a growling Minseok as Yunho brings Junmyeon into a janitor’s closet.

“Don’t worry Minseok! It’s too small for Yunho and Junmyeon to do anything in there! Or… Maybe not…? I think… Hmm…” Yixing ponders for a little while.

“Yixing! You’re not helping!”

The taller man then pulls Minseok in, slanting his mouth across the other’s plump lips, and eliciting a groan in response.

“Yixing,” Minseok cries out weakly.

His legs feel like jelly and he wants to kiss Yixing forever. All of his worries slip away as Yixing reaches for his lips again. If this is what believing in soulmates is like, then it is no wonder why everyone takes the chance.

Why his parents took the chance.

And believed.