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seokmonstersfestIt’s 3:30 am, and Minseok is just getting home from a video shoot that started 6am yesterday. Almost 24 hours he’s been working, and he’s exhausted. Grant it he did stop and get food for his managers and the staff at the set, so he really shouldn’t complain too much. It was nice to just unwind a bit after such a long day.
Showering and dressing quickly, Minseok climbs into bed. He knows he should just go to sleep, but he has to check. It’s almost become an addiction to him. He pulls up the familiar app and enters his password.
It started as a joke. The others in his band, CBX, have done it as well. They all have a fan account for themselves. It’s not as conceited as it sounds, it’s more a safe way to feel close to the fans. Plus it suits Minseok’s private nature. No one has any idea that it’s actually him behind cbxXM90.
Minseok scrolls quickly looking for his favorite fan account. He opts to ignore the rest of his timeline. He’s too tired to deal with any negativity, and inevitably there’s bound to be some. Minseok made several mistakes as the night went on, all of which were broadcast via Baekhyun's behind the scenes live.
Finally, he finds it, UminLover99. Minseok clicks on the icon to read what was posted today. Sure enough, there is a long post with a short clip from Baekhyun’s live.
UminLover99: Director Minseok! With his perfectionist personality and attention to detail, he has an excellent eye for what works on camera. He’s pretty hard on himself, especially when he makes a mistake, but he has a great vision of the work as a whole. He is very precise about framing and movement. Minseok is more than just aegyo and cat-eyes. He’s a real entertainer.
Minseok smiles to himself. Even with his blunders, they saw what he was trying to do. He doesn’t quite see himself in a director role, but they are allowed input into their videos. He’s lucky both Baekhyun and Jongdae are similar, with their work ethic and visions for CBX. Their personalities are different, but that’s what makes them mesh well.
He reads quickly through the rest of the day’s post. Minseok laughs at the one from a few days ago about his new hair. He’s gone lavender. It’s quite drastic, but he likes it. Apparently, they do too. A whole paragraph discussing how much the color suits him. As Minseok is about the close the app, a new post pops up. This one has snaps from after the video shoot wrapped. He didn’t even realize he was papped at the little bar they stopped at. You can clearly see him talking and laughing with managers and assistants. Thankfully, they took the time to blur their faces in hopes of protecting their privacy.
UminLover99: Minseok with his drinking buddies! Isn’t it sweet that he goes out with the managers?! The respect and bond there is impressive. You can see it in pictures. Mainly when Minseok is sleepy at the airport. The managers are quick to wrap an arm around him or hold him close. You can see it’s not just a working relationship, they care about each other’s well being. They seem close, more being there for a friend than just shielding or protecting him. As usual, this new little piece of Minseok makes me appreciate him more. This isn’t about fame for him, it’s a job. And the people around him aren’t just staff. They’re coworkers. There is a show of equality in how he interacts with them. This goes for Baek and Dae as well. It’s lovely to see how polite, honest, respectful, and kind they are. They work hard, and it shows. <3
Without thinking too hard about what he’s about to do, Minseok opens up the direct messages. He selects the account and writes his message.
*cbxXM90: Hi there, I’m sorry to bother you when it’s so late. Your tweets about Minseok are awesome! Do you really feel that way about him? Where did you get those pics? -another Xiu-fan.
Minseok stares for a second panicking that he actually messaged a fan! He tries to find a way to delete it, but he’s too late. The three little dots, signaling they are replying, are blinking at him. Minseok holds his breath as he waits.
*UminLover99: Hey cbxXM90, (great user by the way!) I’m so glad you like my little ramblings about Minseok! I could go on for ages. He’s just so perfectly imperfect! Does that make sense? The pictures came from one of his more prominent fan accounts. I don’t usually post those, too invasive, but I couldn’t resist tonight. I tried to cover the others as much as possible though. I’m sure Minseok is used to being papped, but it’s not fair to those with him.
Smiling, Minseok thinks, what’s the harm. They seem friendly enough, why not chat a little longer.
*cbxXM90: That’s really nice of you. I don’t know if someone could ever entirely be used to paparazzi, but you’re right about the others. They are only doing their job. So what did you think about the video teaser? Seems cool.
*UminLover99: Yeah, true! I think I would hate having some creep with a camera following my every move, but on the flip side how would we see Minseok all the time? I think this video is going to be...interesting. LOL! I was a little confused with the teaser. Don’t get me wrong, the aesthetic is great, but what is the overall concept? No matter what Minseok looks fantastic! The purple hair!!
Minseok hesitates for a second. He knows the concept but presumes it would come off weird if he said it. Throwing caution out the window, he goes for it.
*cbxXM90: I think it’s a casino. I mean, the song is Ka-Ching right? The behind the scenes only showed green screens, but the teaser was super colorful. I think that’s why he chose the purple. It fits.
*UminLover99: You’re right! I can totally see it now. Wow, you have a good eye! I can’t believe I missed that. Ka-ching in the casino! LOL! I’m sorry, I’m making a fool of myself in my sleep deprivation…
*cbxXM90: HAHA, it’s okay. They are trying to be secretive. I think they like watching the fan theories. Some of them are ridiculous. Maybe you should get some sleep? It’s 5 am!!! I should go too. Would you mind if I messaged you again sometime? It was nice chatting.
*UminLover99: Not at all. It was nice talking to you too, but I have to ask. I’m a fanboy. I hope that doesn’t bother you? My name’s Junmyeon.
A fanboy? Minseok didn’t see that coming. Not that fanboys don’t exist, it’s just rare to see one so open. Oh shit! He has to think of a name.
*cbxXM90” Nice to meet you, Junmyeon. I’m Minho, but I go by Min. I don’t mind you’re a fanboy. I suppose I am too. Goodnight.
*UminLover99: Minho! Like SHINEE! That’s kinda cool. I’m sure you get that all the time though. Glad to know I’m not his only fanboy! Goodnight, Min. Talk soon…
Before closing out of the app, he turns on notifications for Junmyeon’s account. Minseok thinks it could be a little mood lifter to see what he posts all the time, He plugs his charger in since his phone is almost dead after all day. He double checks that the alarm is set and curls up. Thankfully they have a later start time so he can sleep in.
--
“Good morning! Well, afternoon now. You get any sleep?” Jongdae greets him.
“A little. You?” Minseok puts his backpack on the sofa in the studio. “Baek recording?”
“Same. A little. Yeah, he’s almost done. You want to go next?” He asks.
“Nah, you go. You’ve been here longer. I’m still waking up.” He holds up his coffee cup making Jongdae laugh.
“He didn’t beat you by much,” Baekhyun yells from the booth during a break.
“Why do you always have to rat me out? Min’s never late. Couldn’t you let me get away with it once?” Jongdae shakes his head.
“Aw, it’s okay, Dae.” Baekhyun pats his shoulder as they switch. “I think the bigger surprise is that I was here first. That never happens.”
They’re in the studio for most of the evening to finish recording the upcoming album. Minseok is invited to see a movie with his bandmates. He almost declines, saying he’d rather just go home but thinks it would be nice to spend time together while they aren’t working.
Wanting to stay inconspicuous, they decide on a movie that’s been out for awhile. Minseok’s manager calls ahead to see if the can get the smaller theater for themselves thinking it would be safer and more comfortable. The theater agrees, even allowing them to sneak in the back door.
The three settle in the recliners along the back row with the managers taking seats on either side. A young female staffer comes in to see if they want anything from the concessions. She’s clearly a fan based on the way she stutters through her question and barely looks at them. She’s back quickly with everything they asked for. Before she goes, Baekhyun asks if she would like a selca with them. They take the picture, and she thanks them profusely promising not to post it until long after they leave.
It takes Baekhyun all of twenty minutes before he’s asleep in the chair. Jongdae is happily watching and laughing, but he was the one to pick the film. Minseok has seen it already. Slightly bored he pulls out his phone. Two notifications. The first is a screencap from his upcoming reality show with a reminder of the premiere date.The second is a video from a cover they did a while back. He remembers this performance as he was nervous about the extreme high not he had to hit.
UminLover99: Now, obviously I’ve seen this performance before, but this fancam is new for me. Minseok is frigidity as it is, but you can really see the nerves come through. His hands. His face. I can feel how he must’ve felt. I respect him for having the guts to go for it. His passion, and strength really shine.
Minseok watches the little clip again and shudders. He’s disappointed that he let his fear show like that. He scrolls his timeline a little before locking his phone. He has it halfway in his pocket when the vibration makes him jump. Looking around him, he finds everyone still engrossed in the film before reopening his phone.
*UminLover99: Saw you were on and wanted to say hi.I hope I didn’t come off too weird.
*cbxXM90: What do you mean weird?
*UminLover99: I don’t know. You don’t think my account is weird or… I don’t know what I’m trying to say. I have some friends that pick on me for it and some that don’t know about it at all. I mean I’m not ashamed or anything.
*cbxXM90: I got you. No, I don’t think there is anything wrong with you having an account. Especially one like yours. You try to be respectful with how you word things and it shows.
*UminLover99: Okay, good. That makes me happy. I would be horrified if Minseok ever saw it and was upset by it.
*cbxXM90: Honestly, I don’t see him being offended by it.
*UminLover99: Thanks. Are you busy?
*cbxXM90: I’m actually in a movie theater with some friends.
*UminLover99: Oh, I’ll let you get back to them.
*cbxXM90: It’s alright, I’ve seen it before. Hey, how old are you?
*UminLover99” Ugh! The dreaded age question. I’m old. Can I leave it at that?
*cbxXM90: I wanna know! If it helps, I’m Minseok’s age.
*UminLover99: Wow, that means you’re older than me. I’m 27. Do you live in Seoul?
*cbxXM90: Usually, when I’m home anyway. I travel a lot for work.
*UminLover99: What do you do? I have a boring desk job. I’d love to travel more.
Shit shit shit! Minseok mentally kicks himself. He needs to stop being so honest, but he doesn’t want to lie either. This was a terrible idea.
*cbxXM90: Hey listen, The movie is about to end so I gotta go. I’ll get back to you.
*UminLover99: Sure, sounds good.
Minseok logs out and as he puts his phone away he sees both guys staring at him. “What?”
“Don’t what me. Who was that? What are you keeping from us?” Jongdae asks.
“Nothing. It was twitter.” He shrugs feigning disinterest.
“Yeah, not buying it.” Baekhyun eyes him. “What about you, Dae?”
“Nope! I bet it’s a girl!! Min’s got a girlfriend!” He singsongs loudly.
“I do not! Now, shut up. I don’t want to listen to that damn speech about appearing available to the fans again.” Minseok rolls his eyes as they both groan and nod.
“I forgot about that! Annoying.” Baekhyun leans back in his chair again. “What are we doing now?”
“I vote home. I’m still tired” Minseok yawns.
“You always vote home! I’m wide awake. Let’s do something!” He’s practically vibrating in the chair.
“You’re awake because you just slept through an entire movie. I’m with Minnie. Let’s go home.”
“You suck, Dae!” He pouts. “We finally have a day off and you want to go home early.”
“Sorry, Hyunnie. Another night. Let’s give them a break too. They’re just as tired as we are.” Minseok nods towards Baekhyun’s manager who trying not to fall asleep himself.
“Yeah, you’re right. I guess we all could use some extra sleep.” Baekhyun agrees.
--
This comeback has been stressful. Minseok feels like he’s done nothing but sit on a plane for the past 6 weeks. Flying to and from performances. And to make matters worse, he feels like the fans aren’t completely satisfied with him. He’s read a number of posts complaining about him saying he’s boring or why can’t he be more lively like his bandmates. Minseok tries hard, but he knows he isn’t good with words. He puts in the extra effort with dancing and aegyo. In fact, He barely stops moving during the entire time he’s on stage. He’s got no idea what more he can do to make them happy.
As they’re in the car headed to the airport yet again, Minseok decides to recheck the posts again. He’s gotten a notification that Junmyeon posted and is hopeful for a little pick me up. He’s not disappointed.
UminLover99: I AM A MINSEOK STAN!!! Today I read some crazy posts about how Minseok stans are bored with him(?) bc he does nothing(?) and for that reason we really stan Baekhyun(?) or something. Now tbh I have no idea if that’s what they were saying bc what I wrote makes no sense to me and what they wrote makes even less sense to me but it was something along those lines. Let me be perfectly clear here for anyone who might share this crazy opinion: I am a Kim Minseok stan. I absolutely love Xiumin, his voice, his hair colors, his sleeveless outfits, his stage presence, his dance moves.... Xiumin is fantastic. But my everything is Kim Minseok. The one who talks politely to the items he’s clearing off the sink, the one who likes to have a drink at night while watching TV, the one who immediately reaches for the vacuum cleaner when he’s stressed, the one who is getting a PhD, the one with the hand tics, the one who gives everything 110%, the one who bows to his parents at the door when he comes home, the one who loves bread and cake, the one who is the perfect hyung to the younger men around him. I stan him. I support him. And I’m never ever bored. Neither is any other Minseok stan I have ever known. If anything, Minseok stans seem the most loyal and the happiest fans I know. So take your gossip elsewhere. You can’t shake a Minseok stan.
Jongdae waves a hand in front of his face. He didn’t even realize they pulled into the drop off zone. Minseok grabs his carry-on and follows behind Baekhyun and the managers. The airport is mobbed. He feels Jongdae grab ahold of his shirt so they don’t get separated. Thinking that’s a smart idea, he reaches for Baek, only he isn’t there.
Minseok looks around frantically. Where is Baekhyun? He must’ve gotten pushed in the crowd. His manager comes barreling through the saesangs, grabbing his arm. Minseok grabs hold of Dae and together the three of them force their way to the gate.
They’re allowed to board right away as its safer for everyone. Thankfully, Baek is already in his seat. He looks a little disheveled, hair sticking out in all directions and his tee is torn. The managers make sure they’re all okay before going back out to see what the hell happened.
Baekhyun tells them multiple times he’s alright before Minseok backs off. Minseok’s manager comes back first, taking his seat. He says the saesangs got in because they had purchased tickets and were trying to either board the plane or get refunds once it departed. He explains that Baek and Dae’s managers are handling it and pressing charges on the overzealous girl who latched onto Baekhyun.
Minseok pulls out his headphones to try to distract himself. He ends up sleeping for half of the flight, but is woken by a bit of turbulence. Unable to go back to sleep and another two hours to go so he plays a game on his phone. He notices another post notification with a picture from the airport earlier.
UminLover99: Minseok seems to be in a mood today and I’m stupidly and undeniably turned on by it. I can’t tell if he just looks tired or if he’s super pissed but his expression is pretty tight and closed off. No complaints, I actually like this a lot. Guy can’t smile and be goofy and cute every hour of every day. Plus, he looks positively gorgeous when his energy is this intense. Have a safe flight, grumpy!
edit: so Baekhyun was at the front going into the airport and he got pushed bad. Minseok was behind and Dae in the back so I think Baek got the worst of it. I have no nice words to say about this but let me just say I am livid. No one has the right to invade anyone’s space like that. I have really bad words spewing out of my mouth right now. To think that someone could have gotten hurt and it could have been one of us or one of them, you know, the boys we swear to love and protect at all cost. My mood is ruined now too. No wonder Minseok is pissed.
Minseok feels a sense of relief. Not only from Junmyeon’s post but the comments under it. Most of the fans are pissed at what happened. He reads for a few more minutes before flipping over to his messages.
*cbxXM90: So that airport shit was crazy?!?
*UminLover99: I know right! I feel so terrible for them. At first I thought Minseok was just grumpy, but I totally get it! I honestly don’t know how they deal with all that shit! I think I would have quit by now.
*cbxXM90: Don’t you think it goes with the territory? Doesn’t this type of stuff come with being famous?
*UminLover99: Please tell me you’re not serious…
*cbxXM90: LOL! I’m playing devil’s advocate. That seems to be the excuse the saesangs give. However, I don’t agree with it.
*UminLover99: Oh good. I was afraid for a minute there. We’ve been chatting for how long now? A good five months? I thought I was going to have to block you…
*cbxXM90: You’d really block me for that? I’m wounded! No, I’ve really come to enjoy our chats.
*UminLover99: Me too. I’ve been putting off asking, but i’m genuinely curious. You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.
*cbxXM90: Okay???
*UminLover99: Are you gay? I mean, we’ve said we’re both fanboys. But it is Minseok we are talking about! I have seen many straight men confused by him.
Minseok laughs out loud at that. Jongdae turns to peer at him between the seats with eyebrows raised. He apologizes quickly making some lame excuse before returning to the conversation.
*cbxXM99: I’m not sure how to answer that.
*UminLover99: It’s okay! I shouldn’t have asked. I’m sorry. I was just curious.
*cbxXM90: Stop. I’m not offended. I’m trying to think of how I want to say it. Give me a minute…
*cbxXM90: The best answer I can give you is… I don’t know?? I never really thought too deeply about it. I tend to be attracted to what I’m attracted to. I don’t view gender as something that’s important. So no, I’m not gay. But, I’m not straight. Does that make sense?
*UminLover99: So then you’re Bi?
*cbxXM90: I wouldn’t say that either. I guess if forced, I would say I don’t identify. To be Bi would mean gender is a factor even if attracted to both. I don’t know. I think now I’m going too far into this. Basically, if I like you, I like you. Guy, girl, trans...none of it matters.
*UminLover99: That’s cool. I’ve never thought of it that way. I’ve always said I was Bi. Damn! You’re making me rethink everything.
*cbxXM90: Sorry. I...yeah. Not sure what to say now.
*UminLover99: It’s okay. I have another question. Do you think, maybe someday, you’d ever want to meet? Like in person?
*cbxXM90: I don’t know if that’s possible. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve enjoyed talking with you all these months. My job makes it difficult for me to have much of a personal life.
*UminLover99: Ah, I see. Not a big deal. Just me being curious. Listen, I’m headed to bed. Talk soon, okay?
*cbxXM99: Good night, Junmyeon.
“Who’s Junmyeon?” His manager is leaning over the seat.
“You just scared the shit out of me!” Minseok jumps.
“That’s not an answer. Who is he?” He presses.
“He runs a fan site. He seemed like a nice guy so I messaged him. He doesn’t know who I am.” Minseok sighs.
“You forget I have access to your account? I’ve seen the messages. I know if things were different, you would meet up with him.”
“Maybe, but things aren’t different. Don’t worry about it. I’ll delete the account tomorrow.” He says even though he doesn’t want to.
“Minseok, I looked into him. Wait! Before you get upset. I saw this coming, so I checked him out. He’s exactly what he seems. He works a decent job and takes care of his family. He’s had a few past relationships, nothing too serious. He’s a good guy and if you’re interested you could see what happens. I’m positive he wouldn’t even need the NDA. Think about it. That’s all I’m saying.” His manager pats his arm before sitting back.
“What about the fans? The company? They wouldn’t approve. What about Baek and Dae?” Minseok questions.
“Uh! Baek and Dae are in agreement! You should go for it.” Baekhyun calls from his seat.
“I second that!” Jongdae adds laughing.
“I really hate you nosey assholes!” Minseok grumbles sinking into his seat.
“Please, you love us and you know it. The point is, the band isn’t going to be forever. And you deserve the right to be happy. Just know I’ll beat his ass if he hurts you.” Jongdae is leaning over the back of his chair.
“Same goes for me.” Baekhyun says while squishing himself in the middle seat, stepping on the manager in the process.
“I’ll think about it.” Minseok says.
--
*cbxXM90: So remember 2 months ago, you asked me if I wanted to meet up. Well, I have a couple days off. Would you maybe want to go to dinner tomorrow? I made arrangements for a private table at the restaurant on the corner by your office. I’ll be there at 6.
Minseok waits and waits but gets no response. Baekhyun and Jongdae tell him he should still go. He agrees. Maybe Junmyeon will show up. He goes to bed not know what to expect.
In order to maintain his privacy, Minseok arrives at the restaurant and hour early. He still hasn’t received a response, but remains hopeful. Both Baek and Dae have texted him to wish him good luck. As time passes, Minseok begins to get nervous. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea.
He is just about to leave when the door opens. Junmyeon walks towards him with his head down and hands in his pockets. Minseok stands when he gets to the table.
“What’s with the mask and sunglasses? Not to mention all the security. I had to show my ID to get in. You said private table, not private restaurant.” Junmyeon is eyeing him.
“Junmyeon, sit please. I’ll explain.” They both take their seats.
The waiter comes over before they have the chance to say anything more. While Junmyeon is distracted giving a drink order, Minseok takes off his disguise. He then picks up his menu and waits for him to notice.
“What the hell? You’ve got to be kidding me? There’s no way!” Junmyeon stutters shocked. “Minseok?”
“I wanted to tell you before you got here, but Dae didn’t think you’d believe me. I’m sorry.” he folds his hands on the table in front of him.
“Dae? As in Jongdae? Oh my god!”
“The one and only. Baekhyun says hello too. They both know and support, whatever this is.”
“You’re telling me I’ve been talking to you about...about you! For months? You must think I’m crazy. Oh god, I’m so embarrassed.” Junmyeon is turning pink.
“Well, yes.” Minseok laughs. “But you aren’t crazy. And we had other conversations.”
“I feel like such a creep. I literally run a fan account. I never thought you would see it.”
“Junmyeon, stop. I’ve watched that account for almost a year before I messaged you. The way you spoke and paid attention. It’s like you saw me, really saw ME. Not Xiumin.” He pauses making sure Junmyeon is listening. “I would seek out your words when I doubted myself. Or if I had a shit day. That account made me smile. A lot. Please don’t be embarrassed. If anything, it’s a cool story on how we met.”
“That really doesn’t make me feel any better.” Junmyeon groans. “You really did that?”
“I did. I never intended to message you, but I’m really glad I did.”
“Me too.” Junmyeon smiles finally. “Now, what are you getting? I’m starving.”
Minseok laughs going back to his menu. He’s not sure where this thing between them will end up, but he thinks it will be fun to find out.
**Author’s note: I have to give a massive shout out to the lovely @mymanminseok on instagram. Every ‘post’ of Junmyeon’s is a direct quote or paraphrase of her wonderful captions. Thank you for allowing me to share your words. If love Minseok and you aren’t following her….you really should!!
